(adapted from an article by Joanne Susi)
“Work as if it doesn’t matter.” John Gray gave this advice in his book “How to Get What You Want, and Want What You Have.” When I first read this, I wondered how I could possibly do that because I care about my work.
One day on a coaching call I realised I was so focussed on the listening that nothing else around me mattered. This is what John Gray meant. This was being in the moment and not concerned about the doing.
The concept of being versus doing can be difficult to grasp. Yes, we think about what we want to do, but how do we just be, as that requires us to not think? Activities that allow us to connect with our hearts and our feelings help us learn how to just be.
Perhaps a helpful way to engage your beingness would be to make a comfort list, a list of things that can bring you joy and peace, and so, keeping you out of mind, i.e. not thinking.
Your list may include things like:
- listening to calming soothing music
- walking along a beach, in the woods, or the hills
- taking a warm bubble bath or a sauna, getting a massage
- reading a great book, listening to audiotapes, watching a good movie
- listening to the wind, chimes, the birds, what’s “there” at any one moment
- watching a fire or candles flicker
- listening to the silence
- spending time in a bookstore, Art Gallery, museum
- talking with friends, associates, clients
- watching the sunrise, the sunset, the waves break, a cloud form and shift
- giving/getting a hug
- collecting your favourite things
- just being in the moment
The more we allow ourselves time for these comforting activities, the more connected we will become with our centre, creating greater balance within ourselves. Being in the moment can then become a pleasurable experience.
When we coach as if it doesn’t matter … in other words, coming from being and not from doing … the flow becomes magical and we can coach with ease.
Further, when I coach with full immersion, when I listen to my intuition I hear the nuances of speech and body language that really tell what the other person is speaking about. And then “Coaching as if it doesn’t matter” gives me the latitude to ask the questions that have never been asked of that person before. And on some amazing days, that is where the magic happens.
Remember, important as it is to work as if it doesn’t matter, it’s perhaps even more important to play as if it doesn’t matter, too.
And that’s worth thinking about.
